i barfeds in our rink
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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