Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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