It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
