how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize