Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize