yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
