How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
