She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
