The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
wow bdsm is so cute
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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