Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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