New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
The air was thick with penises
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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