She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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