If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
please come you make the beer taste better
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
