I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
