I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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