i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
