Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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