Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I need a beard to bite.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
