Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
