so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
