I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
