Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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