I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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