Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
