Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
