I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
