I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
