I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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