Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
