While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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