We need to rekindle our bromance
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
