No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
