I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
