I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
