Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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