i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
