Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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