Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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