Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
