JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
