she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
