whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
