I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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