I can't watch pbs sober anymore
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
