I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
