Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
