Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
