i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dick very happy bro
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
