I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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