the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
