Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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