If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
