better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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