I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
