Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
