we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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