i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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