dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I think my vagina is haunted
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
